Dear Hilo,

More and more often, I wonder what you’re thinking about. Or how you feel. How do you feel? When I get anxious and already miss you before having to go to Missouri for five days, do you feel the same? Are you worried about me — about us?

I feel like that’s something we’re purposely not verbalizing. Maybe it’s all in my head. Either way, let me make this clear to you: I am Yours. There is nothing more I need to say than that. 

Ugh, please put tissues in your pocket for when you say goodbye to me at the terminal. You know how I can get. I’ll be wishing you were with me for every moment that I’m gone. I can’t wait to Skype it like the old days, though, haha. That’ll be lovely :D

Yours, Yours, Yours,
A

Lappy

Dearest Readers,

I do believe my wonderfully brilliant boyfriend has fixed the lappy somewhat. At least now I can use it for tumblr again, and my usual internet browsing.
Weeee!

So, I guess a quick update is in order, as I disappeared after arriving in California to meet and start my new life with my long distance, previously un-met-before darling Hilo.

We’re now in our apartment (dijon mustard walls, at least 20 feet of mirrored closet doors, and our own bathroom) which we share with another roommate. I’ve recently landed myself a (hopefully temporary) job to get me by until I find a more lucrative and less physical field of work. Hilo’s currently waiting to hear back about a position he’s applied for (:3 I reaaallly hope he gets it!) and although there have been a few bumps, I’d say that we’re off to a pretty good start for never having actually met before. 

I guess, on the whole, we’re not an especially peculiar duo, besides the obvious things. We’re both trying to focus on what it is we really want to do, and doing what we can to support one another in the meantime. He plays Starcraft II relentlessly, and I’m reading some of his books (Wicked by Gregory Maguire and Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk) to stave off boredom. We recently went to the beach, where I was able to see the actual ocean for the first time… I’d only seen the Gulf of Mexico before, and this was COMPLETELY different. I also saw people surfing (first time again!) for the US Opens which was interesting. However, that bored me pretty quickly so we walked around the pier and ate lunch/dinner together before our hour-long trek back to the car.

 As expected, we’ve come across a few rough spots concerning different things, but I’m trying to better myself and grow up (in a good way) as quickly as I can, so as not to be so flustered and ignorant. It’s kind of hard, since I’ve never had to adjust myself personally for someone, and I can tell that sometimes I’m being a bit more difficult than what is necessary. I’m trying to get to the point where I can prevent that from happening altogether, instead of realizing it halfway through a snide remark. And it’s not just to make him happier, it’s for everyone around me and myself. I never truly realized how hard it is to break out of childish habits, like being a crybaby or clamming up anytime something’s wrong. But, I’m aware, and I’m trying; I just have to stick with it and be as persistent as possible, for my own sake, really.

And dear, dear Hilo: I adore you. I’m still shy about saying it, especially when I really want to. So I just touch you a lot instead, hoping that you get the idea. Or I stare at you like a mega-creep. :3 <3

Alright, Alright…

Dear Hilo,

Yeah, okay, I’ve really fallen off on this thing since I’ve arrived, huh? But we’ve been really busy. Matsuwa Market, Sunset Boulevard, the Walk of Fame… it’s like a constant overload for me. I’m still dazzled by the weather, of all things.

And you. Wow. I can’t even… there’s nothing I could have ever said before that would do you justice. You’re brilliant. Even when I want to give you an attitude when you pinch too hard, or I think you reprimand me too harshly, I’m always laughing the next moment. It’s impossible to be in a sour mood with you.

I’m looking at you now, from the corner of OUR bed in OUR room. How did we do this? Is this still real? I’m not going to go home in three weeks, am I? I can’t. I won’t.
We’re going to be okay.

We’ve also completely fallen off from watching the World Cup, now that I think about it. After a lot of our favorite teams were punched out, it was very “Meh, what’s the point Q_Q”.

I can’t wait to go see the ocean for the first time with you, boyfriend <3
A