Minimum Requirements?

Since the wind has the caught the sails of this blog once more, I’ve gotten the awesome opportunity to follow a lot of amazing couples that are in the same exact situation we were once in. Bravo to you brave souls who are putting yourselves out there and risking it all for love!

On the other hand, I’ve also come across many bitter and self-pitying posts about what’s considered an LDR, and how another person in an LDR/relationship is judged (by these common standards: distance apart, time apart, age, etc.), then told how they’re allowed to feel.

It goes without saying that everyone’s situation is different, and the definition of a “Long Distance Relationship” might not even remotely resemble what you or I consider it to be.

For instance, I come across posts like this very frequently:

You don’t really know what a long distance relationship is until you experience it for at least 6 months.

I’m jealous of my friends just because they see their boyfriends every day… They will never really appreciate what they have.

I would like for everyone to take a step back and realize that these type of thoughts are 1) Not conducive to your own perception of your long distance relationship (ie: You are not a “martyr” for love/projection of negative feelings away from the source — your relationship), 2) Cold and rude towards someone who’s probably feeling just as shitty as you are about not seeing their partner, and 3) Ostracizing yourself from someone you could very easily make a friend with based on the mutual feelings of loneliness and heartache.

All it takes is a touch of compassion, and you could have someone who’s more understanding than your real life friends who may be harsh and judgmental of your long distance relationship (“What’s the point?”, “How do you even know they’re real/who they say they are?”, etc.). And spoiler: no one is going to willingly RSVP to your Pity Party.

Envy is one thing, but don’t let it turn into bitterness and disregard for others. It will ruin your relationship faster than it ruins theirs if you continue to sink into this unhealthy mindset.

With Your Best Interests in Mind,
A

Bookshelf

Dear Hilo,

Despite you beating up on your poor, wretched bookshelf, I think today was great. I managed to tell you that I was frightened of doing things wrong because you are quite unlike anything I’ve ever dealt with before. We’re both trying to do things right this time, which makes me… ecstatic and hopeful. So many positive words that I can’t even think of them all. I’m just speechless when it comes to the effort you’re willing to put into this.

I wonder when I should ask you.
I wonder when I should say it.

Sigh. Sometimes I have to catch myself. When you say, or act so sweet that I can’t even think right, I almost want to blurt it out. Like it’s there just waiting for me. A lot of times, it’s just right before we fall asleep. But I also like not saying it. I like this little game we play back and forth, and you know, I think I could go almost forever with you just asking You Love Me?, and me saying back Nuh-Uh.

Of course I would want to be touchy with you. I just get shy. How could I manage to keep my hands or lips off you after all this time being denied that? I’ll never be able to touch you or kiss you or pinch you or do really anything enough. Don’t worry about it :3
I like spoiling the things I care about.

Forever,
A♥