Reading back through my blog makes me tearful; I don’t know why.
I think sometimes a good, hard cry would make me feel better. Like I have too much everything welling up inside me. Maybe that’s why I cry so easy when I’m upset. Like my tear ducts are ready to jump at any chance they’ve got to splash my face and make a general mess out of things.
I feel really good when I cry alone, though… When I’m able to get it all out for whatever reason I fancy at that moment, or whatever scenario I think up.
I hate crying in front of you. When I do, I can just see my AntiCryBaby self shaking and yelling at me to cut it out, grow up. I can imagine the irritated look on your face and hear you sigh next to me as I try to get a hold of myself. My mind reels and I can’t think right when I cry by you, making it so much harder to just stop.
Well, I’m getting better at catching myself before it starts… I’ve definitely prevented it a few times now, though it’s not easy. My inner voice is a catty, unmerciful bitch and happens to say all the things I don’t want to think about when I’m trying to stay calm.
Hah, maybe I’m just trying to make up for the lack of rain here.
Looking Foward to a Few Days of Clear Skies,