Why is the statement “I love you” so necessary?
You know, you always hear that actions speak louder than words, but isn’t speaking an action, too? Isn’t taking the insane leap to finally open your mouth and your heart to someone in this final act of defeat and triumph just as important?

It’s fucking terrifying.
What if it’s followed by silence and a long look.
What if it’s followed by a smile and that wonderful, confusing someone pulling you closer in the middle of the night?
What if? 

Just once. What if I could say it just once and that would be the core — the center of inertia holding this all together as it spins madly ‘round and ‘round. I would never have to say it again because that once would be more than enough. That single sentence that’s been skipping across my chewed up lips would let you know that you are the best thing that will ever happen to me. 
I’m yours.
Take care of us.

Maybe One of These Days,
A 

Bookshelf

Dear Hilo,

Despite you beating up on your poor, wretched bookshelf, I think today was great. I managed to tell you that I was frightened of doing things wrong because you are quite unlike anything I’ve ever dealt with before. We’re both trying to do things right this time, which makes me… ecstatic and hopeful. So many positive words that I can’t even think of them all. I’m just speechless when it comes to the effort you’re willing to put into this.

I wonder when I should ask you.
I wonder when I should say it.

Sigh. Sometimes I have to catch myself. When you say, or act so sweet that I can’t even think right, I almost want to blurt it out. Like it’s there just waiting for me. A lot of times, it’s just right before we fall asleep. But I also like not saying it. I like this little game we play back and forth, and you know, I think I could go almost forever with you just asking You Love Me?, and me saying back Nuh-Uh.

Of course I would want to be touchy with you. I just get shy. How could I manage to keep my hands or lips off you after all this time being denied that? I’ll never be able to touch you or kiss you or pinch you or do really anything enough. Don’t worry about it :3
I like spoiling the things I care about.

Forever,
A♥