Minimum Requirements?

Since the wind has the caught the sails of this blog once more, I’ve gotten the awesome opportunity to follow a lot of amazing couples that are in the same exact situation we were once in. Bravo to you brave souls who are putting yourselves out there and risking it all for love!

On the other hand, I’ve also come across many bitter and self-pitying posts about what’s considered an LDR, and how another person in an LDR/relationship is judged (by these common standards: distance apart, time apart, age, etc.), then told how they’re allowed to feel.

It goes without saying that everyone’s situation is different, and the definition of a “Long Distance Relationship” might not even remotely resemble what you or I consider it to be.

For instance, I come across posts like this very frequently:

You don’t really know what a long distance relationship is until you experience it for at least 6 months.

I’m jealous of my friends just because they see their boyfriends every day… They will never really appreciate what they have.

I would like for everyone to take a step back and realize that these type of thoughts are 1) Not conducive to your own perception of your long distance relationship (ie: You are not a “martyr” for love/projection of negative feelings away from the source — your relationship), 2) Cold and rude towards someone who’s probably feeling just as shitty as you are about not seeing their partner, and 3) Ostracizing yourself from someone you could very easily make a friend with based on the mutual feelings of loneliness and heartache.

All it takes is a touch of compassion, and you could have someone who’s more understanding than your real life friends who may be harsh and judgmental of your long distance relationship (“What’s the point?”, “How do you even know they’re real/who they say they are?”, etc.). And spoiler: no one is going to willingly RSVP to your Pity Party.

Envy is one thing, but don’t let it turn into bitterness and disregard for others. It will ruin your relationship faster than it ruins theirs if you continue to sink into this unhealthy mindset.

With Your Best Interests in Mind,
A

New Shift

Well, I didn’t get my first choice. Or even my second choice. Nor did I land my third choice.

I am on the shift that I chose last. If I can’t get it swapped, I’ll be working Tuesday through Saturday, noon to 9 every night. 

Since Hilo works 8 to 5 Monday through Friday, that gives us about half an hour to an hour every morning to see one another (and I’m a lazy fuck so I barely wake up for that). It also means that since I get off so late, he usually wants to go to bed by 11. Then, I have to work for the main part of my Saturday. And I only have Sunday off with him, and he works all day on Monday which is the other day I have off.

I did the math. I get about 37 waking hours with him every week, give or take.

I’m losing about 3 more hours with him with this new shift, if we spend 15 hrs a day hanging out on the weekends, then a couple hours every day after I get off work (40 hrs total).

I am so sad.